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A Few Words On The Present Situation

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  At these times, dear public, I wish to announce my solidarity with you all. We must stand together in these hardships, but standing together six feet apart as per the health and safety regulations. We must forge new unions, as long as those unions are forged via zoom calls, telephone lines, online chat, or any other form of communication that does not involve close, physical contact. It is time to support each other, by staying away. Care for each other's needs, by covering your face so you cannot breathe harmful viruses into the air. And carry each other's burdens, when using adequate anti-bacterial disinfectant after touching said burden. We must UNITE!!! SEPERATELY. In our own homes. Best regards, Tibberius Fibberus a.k.a. Tibber the Fibber
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The Hipster

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  The following is an excerpt from the volume: Human Naturalism: A Guide to the Strange World of Humanity.   THE HIPSTER: A BRIEF OVERVIEW   Hipster as Viewed in Natural Habitat   The Hipster is a strange creature posing many conundrums for the modern naturalist. One can find a Hipster in its natural habitats (coffee shops, internet cafes, etc.) and have a high chance of spotting one of these in the wild. A Hipster is distinguished from homeless vagrants by its use of outrageously priced electronic devices, and the high caffeine contents in its internal fluids. Many will often wear a plaid outer-garment; a simple short-sleeved shirt, sporting an ironic phrase, or a reference to a group of individuals, who had no musical talent and are now dead; denim trousers; and a wool-knit beanie. It is well-known that many creatures of the human race will fantastic growths of hair on top of their heads. Humans are known for having much dedication to the cultivation ...
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The Noble ManaTEA

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     Ah, the noble manaTEA, reclining in its natural habitat.      That great creature that, even in its recluse, exhibits the greatest glory.      Great and mighty in the natural kingdom, the manaTEA glides gently through the herbal drinks. He creates rhythm and beauty that would make even a weathered politician weep.      And lo, doth not this great beast of the floating mugs deserve our admiration and protection? Even as we speak, the great manaTEA's natural habitat is being guzzled away by the fiendish tea-teetotalers. With their tee-totalitarianism they have drained virtually 86.52% of the natural reservoirs where the manaTEA can only dwell. Some manaTEA have been forced out to seek new lands, choosing the unnatural coffee for their resting places.      Shall these atrocities go unanswered? To assist in the conservation of these glorious creatures, please donate to the MARTINI ( M anaTEA A ctivists R egulati...
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