Skip to main content

A Short Farce

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Noble ManaTEA

     Ah, the noble manaTEA, reclining in its natural habitat.      That great creature that, even in its recluse, exhibits the greatest glory.      Great and mighty in the natural kingdom, the manaTEA glides gently through the herbal drinks. He creates rhythm and beauty that would make even a weathered politician weep.      And lo, doth not this great beast of the floating mugs deserve our admiration and protection? Even as we speak, the great manaTEA's natural habitat is being guzzled away by the fiendish tea-teetotalers. With their tee-totalitarianism they have drained virtually 86.52% of the natural reservoirs where the manaTEA can only dwell. Some manaTEA have been forced out to seek new lands, choosing the unnatural coffee for their resting places.      Shall these atrocities go unanswered? To assist in the conservation of these glorious creatures, please donate to the MARTINI ( M anaTEA A ctivists R egulati...

The Hipster

  The following is an excerpt from the volume: Human Naturalism: A Guide to the Strange World of Humanity.   THE HIPSTER: A BRIEF OVERVIEW   Hipster as Viewed in Natural Habitat   The Hipster is a strange creature posing many conundrums for the modern naturalist. One can find a Hipster in its natural habitats (coffee shops, internet cafes, etc.) and have a high chance of spotting one of these in the wild. A Hipster is distinguished from homeless vagrants by its use of outrageously priced electronic devices, and the high caffeine contents in its internal fluids. Many will often wear a plaid outer-garment; a simple short-sleeved shirt, sporting an ironic phrase, or a reference to a group of individuals, who had no musical talent and are now dead; denim trousers; and a wool-knit beanie. It is well-known that many creatures of the human race will fantastic growths of hair on top of their heads. Humans are known for having much dedication to the cultivation ...

McSweeney's Beard Oil, For All Yer Beardy Needs: Part Two

                 The last time I spoke to ye, I had told ye of McSweeney’s Beard Oil, for all yer beardy needs. I had told ye of the miraculous nature of this Beard Oil, and of its wonderous abilities—argh. I had begun the story, but me time fell short. Today, me hearties, I will finish me story, and the tale of how I discovered McSweeney’s Beard Oil, for all yer beardy needs.                The last time I had regaled ye with me tale of oars. I was in the clinker, for public intoxication. Being sorrowed for me lack of facial hair, I had seen the warden of the clinker by the name of McSweeney. His beard flowing like honey for a jar, I asked him how his hair could grow to such lengths. He had told me that it was all because of an oil, and to visit him, once me time was due.            ...